THE FIVE POUND NOTE

The Five Pound Note currently circulating bears an idealised portrait of the crowned head of Queen Elizabeth II. To the left of her huge great big head is an image of Britannia dressed as Solar Priestess, leaning on a shield with a red cross on it and holding a branch of foliage in her right hand. At her neck is a brooch bearing the Eyeless Smiley symbol; at her right foot is a beehive.

The Beenan Orden (Order of Bees) is another name for the Illuminati, an organisation much loved by American conspiracy theorists, as for example in the following text:

"If the cryptocracy manages to obtain consent from the public to use the computer-satellite surveillance network on the public itself (in the name of "reducing automobile traffic jams, controlling illegal aliens, fighting crime, destroying terrorists", etc) then our society will indeed become an insect world, an "order of bees". Note too that the cryptocracy has deliberately allowed the destruction of America's mass transit railroad system."

There is engraved on the reverse of the fiver: George Stephenson 1781-1848 with Stephenson's Rocket Locomotive 1829, phallic metallic pistons bearing down on a fiery track. Skene Bridge on the Darlington Railway 1823. It is marked © The Governor and Company of the Bank of England 1990.

I believe this was the first time the © or Eyeless Smiley symbol appeared upon an English banknote.

Figure One: The Three Folds

THE TEN POUND NOTE

Older readers , who have spent a lot of time in public houses, may remember that on earlier banknotes two horizontal creases and one vertical crease of the banknote revealed an image known as "the Queen's Arse". On the 1990 banknote the engraver's coarse jocular image has been improved - it now features a "Queenly Quim", with pubic hair shaved so as not to offend the Emperor of Japan. A be-gartered left leg can also be seen and a tiny Princely Penis and Testicle, poised ready for intromission. Instructions for the folding of the banknote may be found in our example above. Underneath the Royal chin, the Image is Revealed.

Ten is the number of increase so the Queenly Quim is revealed "in creases" when the banknote is folded.

When you straighten the note out again you will note that a sour, ghostly, witchlike face appears when the banknote is held to the light. The High Priestess Britannia now wears a bored expression, the shield has changed shape, the cross is now black on a green striped surround, the branch has been laid down and she has taken up the spear of Destiny. Three Bees have emerged from the Illuminist's Beehive. The Priestess also carries a French Curve, a technical drawing tool used by designers for drawing curved lines, this may be an update on the old Masonic symbol of mathematical dividers. There is the image of a cricket match on the reverse (observed by what appear to be circus performers. The game of cricket is patronised by Prime Minister, John "Major" (-Ball) who may be one of the first PMs to openly declare that he is not a Freemason. The Ball in the game has knocked the top hat off one of the players, which may be something to do with Major's rhetoric about establishing a 'classless society' and a 'level playing field'. The scene is captioned

THE CRICKET MATCH DINGLY DELL AGAINST ALL MUGGLETON FROM THE PICKWICK PAPERS.

Many pen nibs and five copies of the book David Copperfield fly magically into the sun. Upon the batman's ample posterior there is the image of a goat's head. When the banknote is held to the light - as a salute to the sun - the Queen's Mouth and the Fat Arse of the Batsman become as One. "Old Muggleton" thus become the "old mugshot" of the Queen and "Dingly Dell", the Crevice Between the Batsman's Buttocks. The Priestess Britannia's breasts are now bared and held by two mysterious hands, there is a tattoo of a cat's head upon her rib cage.